HolyStarDown (holystardown) wrote,

promise i'm not dead

and if that's the case, most of you are probably wondering "well wtf, if you aren't dead why has it been 2 flippin months since you updated hello?! *raise pitchfork*"

weeeeeeellll..... i kinda took a very unplanned, unwanted hiatus and basically haven't touched hello for... a while. my muse completely ran away and left me with absolutely nothing, so i decided to just stay away from writing it for a while instead of melting my brain in attempt to belt out shitty-quality work. like i mentioned in some of my comment replies from chapter 10, i have absolutely NO idea where i'm going for this chapter but i do know where i need to end up, so it's really hard for me to come up with enough filler content and make it good enough to give you a new chapter.

on top of all that my schedual has kind of exploded. i have high school classes, college classes, hospital rotations, hosa, praise band for two churches, and piano lessons ((oh yes, i'm taking it back to elementary school ;] )) so! my mind is pulled in a million different directions. not to mention all the freaking drama that's been going on thin the fandom lately.

i know you've probably heard something about the jyj/homin crap from EVERYONE on your friends list, but i want to tell you all where i stand too. I SUPPORT THEM BOTH. the only reason i won't call homin TVXQ/DBSK is because to me, dbsk is the five of them together and that's final. no, i'm not happy about the fact that they've split or that they've been taking stabs at each other lately, but i still love all five of them and they are still all fantastic musicians/performers. to tell you the truth, it breaks my heart that all these subtle little comments they've been saying ((such as junsu's tweets, yunho's response to those, jaejoong talking about trying to call them and basically being ignored.... and yunho's response to that, and all these other little things)) have been flying around everywhere. i mean, there IS a chance that they're a cover for the media or have been exaggerated because that's what news reporters do, but... realistically, there probably was some real bitterness going on there. which by NO means is saying that "omg they hate each other now and epthounapethnapeiohuaien D:" no. just no. with an issue this big and people so close to each other being seperated like this ((plus all of their business being blabbed all over the world)) there has to be some tension. it's unavoidable. i mean, do you really think it was a coincidence that heechul enphasized that fact that super junior ALL resigned their contracts with SM and all of the other artists under SM are posting similar things as well? i'm not saying that this is necessarily a big deal or that they are still mad at each other or whatever; we just don't know everything that's going on, plain and simple. as the lovely modddess over at capslock_tvxq always tells us to keep her bitches in line, WE. JUST. DON'T. KNOW.

now that THAT little bitty is over... SJM. they had their comback. and i was sooo excited. and sungmin and eunhyuk are "guests" for the album. granted, i wasn't all that thrilled with the two of them being in that particular subgroup simply because it messes up my color thinking ((oh dear God this is such a long explanation. don't ask, just know that my color thinking is the reason for my genius)) and the overall balance of the group, but i LOVE THEM. TO PIECES. sungmin is one of my favorites and eunhae bfflery is just. ide. it's eunhae. they're wonderful and fantastical and magical. *ahem* back to the point.... zhou mi seems to be recovering nicely from whatever they concluded was going on with his throat/vocal chords and sounded amazing  in their song "perfection" as did everyone else, buuuuuut... they digitalized ((idk the actual term for this)) the HELL out of their voices. i think kyu's was the only one they didn't touch ((and i would've beat someone down if they had...)) and sungmin didn't even have his real voice in there at all. which brings me to my next issue with their comeback: sungmin got screwed over. i love that little pink-covered emo child just as much as anyone, and it's been mentioned several times ((by him, other members, fans, and MC's/reporters/whatevers)) that he fades into the background a lot in super junior, which honestly he does. a lot. and the "perfection" permotions/song/MV was no acception to that- if anything it made it painfully obvious ((at least to me.)) just about all the news you hear about SJM's new addtions is about eunhyuk. eunhyuk this and eunhyuk that, eunhyuk is doing/did this and eunhyuk feels that. don't get me wrong, ((i love hyukjae to pieces too)) but there is almost nothing about sungmin. don't believe me? watch the MV and play spot the sungmin. eunhyuk has shitloads of screen time and a couple of vocal parts ((his rap and some other part)) while sungmin has almost no screen time and like... 2 lines? neither of which even sound much like him because of all the digitalization they did to his voice. he's got about 6 seconds total of screen time when it's just him, and most of those 6 seconds are just quick flashes of him with his hair covering his eyes anyway. the rest of the time, he's either not in the shot at all or pushed off in a corner during the group shot. and it aggrivates me! he works just as hard and is just as talented as anyone else. like. URGH. i don't even know how to explain it because then i would get into just how vastly underappreciated shindong is and that would take me 4 days to type up and no. i'm just not going to do that. play spot the shindong in most of their music videos/ songs and you'll see what i'm talking about. particularly twins (knock out).  and yes, i know that not every member gets a part in every song or gets a decently sized part in every song, but pay attention to just how often it seems to happen to them.

PHEW. and now that the rants are over....
i think it's pretty safe to say that if you're reading this you've noticed my masterlist post ((and how horrifyingly dull it is right now.)) i'm going to try to make it prettier with fonts and pictures and colors and stuff, but it'll take me a while to get it right. I'M LOOKING FOR A GIF OF A SUJU/DBSK MEMBER SPREADING THEIR ARMS .((LIKE A WELCOME GESTURE :D)) if you can find one for me or have one in that massive stockpile of suju/dbsk gifs we all know you have, that would be fantastic and i will love you forever :] <3

um.... i have no idea when i'll be able to update hello. i have no idea when i'll even be able to write for hello. if i never finish any other fic in my life, i want to finish this one, but lately nothing has been coming to me :( like i said, my muse has been gone. i'm back to trying but it's gotten me nowhere so far, and instead i've decided that i might start posting up my entries for the 100 suju fic challenge. i know some of you don't read suju, but for now that's all i've got

you can't even believe how sorry i am that this is taking so long ((....again...)) </3 just know that i'm trying my best and don't lose faith in me yet :') i love you all <3

ps.... i got some LFW written ;] 
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