HolyStarDown (holystardown) wrote,

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Title: Letters From War
Length: [20/?]
Author: HolyStarDown
Pairing: Yunjae, Yoosu, Teukchul, ((and is that?)) EUNHAE 
Rating: Overall NC-17
Genre: Romance, angst, drama
Disclaimer: i only own them in my dreams
Summary: In the breaking point of the Korean war, two brothers get drafted into the military and forced to fight for the lives. literally. punishment in camp 409 is just as unforgiving as its officers. attraction? frowned upon. affection? unheard of. love? strickly forbidden. But the training camp they thought they knew gets turned upside down when six of them decide to leave no rule left unbroken
Author's Note: sorry this took forever! ((does anyone even read this anymore? :/)) READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END FOR IMPORTANT FUTURE UPDATE INFO 

{Prologue} {Ch1} {Ch2} {Ch3} {Ch4} {Ch5a} {Ch5b} {Ch6} {Ch7} {Ch8} {Ch9a} {Ch9b} {Ch10} {Ch11} {Ch12} {Ch13a} {Ch13b} {Ch13c} {Ch13d} {Ch14} {Ch15} {Ch16} {Ch17}

Nervous fingers picked at thin white sheets as time ticked seconds away, each bringing the hour hand closer to the big ten he longed for it to touch. Any minute now… Closer… Closer… “Damnit.”


Yunho got up from his bed and began his pacing for the nth time that night, agitation and impatience getting the better of him once again; he just couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted Jaejoong right here, right now, whispering his name in that beautiful voice of his until neither of them could take it any longer. “Damnit…” The officer cursed under his breath once again before leaning up against the wall, head colliding soundlessly with the solid barrier. Maybe he got lost. Maybe he doesn’t want to come. Maybe he wasn’t able to sneak out. Maybe he…


Yunho’s dark-adjusted eyes wandered back to the slowly ticking clock. 10:01. “Damnit Jaejoong… Where are you?”


“I’m right here.”


The soft whisper went through Yunho like a gunshot, twisting his body away from the wall to face the window he never bothered to close from Jaejoong’s last escape. “Jaejoong,” he breathed out. “When did you get here?”


“I just walked up when you started talking to yourself.” Jaejoong paused, shifting uneasily for a second. “Unless you’ve been talking to yourself for a while… In that case I hope you don’t do that often because, well, that usually means a person is crazy...”


But Yunho completely ignored the trainee’s words. Instead, he made a B-line for the window and pulled Jaejoong into a searing, desperate kiss of tongues and teeth. Heated air rushed between them in the milliseconds they were apart for breath, their skin on fire and yearning for the other’s touch. The younger man could barely register that he was being pulled through the window and into Yunho’s room before he was pressed up against the wall, gasping and panting and desperate for something he couldn’t wrap his mind around. “Yunho…” he sighed.


“You don’t know how badly I wanted you to get here Jaejoong.” The officer kept his words fast as his desire to devour Jaejoong’s lips overpowered him. Any thoughts of his original plan crumbled to ash when he had seen the trainee’s beautiful face, his only focus being the need to touch the other man as much as possible. He just couldn’t care less any more. The incident with Yoochun struck a possessive nerve in him that Yunho never knew he had, and seeing Jaejoong- hearing Jaejoong- drown in the pleasure that he was causing made the possession burning in the pit of the officer’s stomach transform into a raging inferno. He wanted Jaejoong, and no one else was going to touch him. No one.


Yunho’s mouth began to wander Jaejoong’s body, finally latching onto the trainee’s neck and painting a dark purple rose on the skin to mark his claim. In that moment, he wanted the world to know that no one else could have tainted Jaejoong’s perfect skin, that no one else could hear the delicious moans spilling from Jaejoong’s lips like he could. “God you’re so gorgeous…” he breathed against the trainee’s chest, slowly working away the buttons blocking his path. He needed this- needed to know that Jaejoong wanted no one else but him.


Oh God…


Jaejoong could hardly keep his eyes open and mouth shut. So many sensations assaulted his body at impossible magnitudes… he almost didn’t want it to stop. A hand passed over his growing bulge, lightly teasing and nothing more. “Yunho…”


Yunho smirked. “I saw your display earlier,” he said darkly as another button was lost to the night. “Don’t think you’re going to get off of your punishment so easily without begging for it.”


Jaejoong moaned, loud and shameless.




Heechul didn’t want to sleep. His entire body ached and he knew he needed it, but he just couldn’t. Changmin was here, Changmin was hurt, and Changmin’s pain was his fault. The Daeryeong had been staring at the boy’s sleeping form for hours until he finally couldn’t take it anymore. “What am I doing?” he groaned. I can’t stay here… I can’t… “Fuck this.” The sharp whisper scratched against the walls of the medical ward as Heechul flung away his covers and twisted out of bed. If Eunhyuk thinks he can keep me here he’s got another thing coming.


The IV slipped out of the twenty-six year old’s arm and was left forgotten to create a crimson river on the floor as Heechul crept to Eunhyuk’s room door. Hushed voices slipped through the cracks that he ignored, and in seconds, Heechul was out the door and into the night.


There’s three of them. Cracked, but thankfully not broken.


So I can stay?!




But Eunhyuk-


They won’t let you stay here if you can’t train.


Then lie! No one else has to know. Please Hyukjae, do something!


I’m not going to let you hurt yourself! Oh no… Hae… No, stop crying damnit. You’ll get me started… Hae…


I don’t want to go…


I know, I don’t want you to go either… but… there’s nothing we can do.


I love you Hyukjae…


… I love you too.




Jaejoong’s mind was spiraling out of control. You’re here for a reason, he kept reminding himself. This is not helping. Every shaking breath and sigh that left his lips took him one step closer to insanity and away from his goal, but he couldn’t stop. Yunho’s name came out like a mantra that he had no control over, and the elder lapped up every bit of it. You’re losing Jaejoong. You can’t let Junsu win. You are not Yunho’s cheap little sex toy. Show him. “Y-Yunho wait…” he panted, grabbing the officer’s wrist with a shaking hand.


The elder’s movements stopped immediately. Hot air incased by barely-touching lips greeted Jaejoong’s collarbone, but nothing more. “What is it?”


“We need to talk… about… something…” the younger gasped out.


Yunho just smirked against Jaejoong’s pale skin. “Speak if you can.” The words barely escaped his lips before the skin was caught between Yunho’s teeth in a soft bite that gradually grew tighter as Jaejoong’s moans grew louder.


Yunho…” Wandering hands explored more forbidden territory and Jaejoong found thinking nearly impossible. “Y-Yunho I’m s… ah… serious. We ngh… need to… need to… oh my God do that again…” His mind was so lost in waves of lust and passion that he thought, just maybe, being Yunho’s sex toy for the night wasn’t such a bad idea. He found himself arching into the man’s every touch, moaning shamelessly for every sensation Yunho could bring. Jaejoong wanted it bad, and he was slowly ceasing to care if anyone else knew it. His initial purpose for coming to Yunho was slowly beginning to fade, and everything died after one last attempt to save it. “We have to… talk about something… Yunho… important…”


“Later Jae,” the officer breathed against his newly exposed chest. “I don’t know how much time we’ll have.”


So Jaejoong stopped fighting. His body became putty in Yunho’s eager hands- writhing, moaning, begging putty- and Yunho took full advantage of it. There was too much of Jaejoong’s gorgeous skin slowly being exposed for him to turn away from it now, especially not when they were both more than half hard and begging for something more.


Slowly, ever so slowly, Jaejoong’s pants found their way to the floor while Yunho’s eager hands took the liberty of slipping into the trainee’s boxers, deliberately teasing the whole way down to massage Jaejoong’s inner thigh as his lips made work of the boy’s neck. Guilt of his forbidden pleasure tasted bitter (and a little salty) on Yunho’s tongue, exploding with every new swipe on the trainee’s neck he could manage, and he realized too late that his sanity was long gone. Desire coursed through his veins and pushed on everything in his body, building and building and building until he swore to God he couldn’t contain it anymore.


White flashes exploded behind closed eyelids as Jaejoong came into Yunho’s teasing hand, the moan he unconsciously released lost somewhere in their dance of lips and tongue. The sudden orgasm ripped through him before he could stop it, too soon, too fast, and just too much. “No…


His panting breath was swallowed by Yunho’s open mouth as the trembling slowly came to a stop, the elder’s hands frozen in place and their lips barely touching. Jaejoong had never been more embarrassed in his life.


Did that really just…?


Yunho slowly withdrew his hand from Jaejoong’s clothes, purposely avoiding any contact with the smaller man’s body as he brought it back out into the open. White stains melted down his tanned skin watched by two pairs of eyes- one widened with absolute horror, the other completely blank.


The trainee’s cheeks burned with humiliation and dread pulsed through his overactive veins, hitching his breath long after the shockwaves of his orgasm had already worn off. “Yunho I swear this never- I mean I usually- and I don’t normally- and I just-” But Jaejoong’s stumble of words was cut off when Yunho silently raised his hand… and licked it clean.


Jaejoong swore that if he hadn’t just come, he would have then.


A strangled sound halfway between a moan and a cough was forced from the trainee’s throat at the sight, his brain short-circuiting in more places than he dared to count. He’s doing this. Oh my God he’s actually doing this. There’s no way in fucking hell…


The more he stared the more vivid the image of Yunho’s tongue slowly cleaning his hand became. Every swipe of his tongue burned mind-numbing holes into Jaejoong’s wide eyes until finally it was done and Yunho’s lips were back against his own, slightly sticky but so damn good. His body was hypersensitive to every single touch those sinful petals left on his skin as they made their way to his neck, impatient teeth soon joining in and shooting electricity straight back to his rehardening cock. With a slight arch of Jaejoong’s neck, they bit down harder, went further, tasted his broad shoulders.


“I hope you build up more stamina after this Jaejoong,” Yunho said in the split seconds he stopped nibbling. “I’m having too much fun to let this end so soon.”


Jaejoong could only answer with a groan from somewhere deep in the back of his throat, and a smirk was pressed against his shoulder blade.


“Looking forward to it.”


And so the biting continued. Neither man could tell you where they were or when exactly time had stopped, but they were utterly and hopelessly lost in each other’s very being. Nails were scraping from Jaejoong’s neck to his chest, deliberately lingering over hypersensitive nipples and drawing mewls of pleasure from his lips as nails and teeth assaulted his body. Never in his life had any of Jaejoong’s multiple boyfriends given his body such lavish attention, yet Yunho made him feel more than he ever had in just ten short minutes. Every sensation was building up all over again, the hardness and wandering fingers pressing against his ass only adding to the mind-numbing electricity.


I want you I want you I want you…


It wasn’t long before the movement got lighter- became unsure and hesitant until they gradually came to a stop. The trainee desperately grinded his ass into the body behind him, whining and groaning like a whore who was getting paid way too much for this.




“Ngh… What?”


“I don’t… I’m not really sure… Shit.” Yunho’s hands finally left Jaejoong’s lightly glazed body to run nervously through his own hair, tongue wetting his bruised lips. “Are you a virgin? I mean… this way. Have you ever-”


Jaejoong snapped his head to the side, glaring at the elder man from the corner of his eye as his face heated up to an impossible level. “Why are you asking me that?” he snapped.


“Because… I’ve never… I mean this isn’t normally my… way of doing it. It’s supposed to hurt you right? Doing it this way. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. We can… We don’t have to do this. If this will hurt you too much, we can figure out something else. Some other way. I can deal with it.”


Jaejoong’s breath suddenly caught in his throat and he leaned his entire weight against Yunho’s warm chest. “What are you saying?” he whispered.


Heated breath dusted moisture over Jaejoong’s trembling lips as Yunho forced air to keep moving in and out of his body, not kissing, just waiting. Searching.


“I could fuck you into the wall right now Jaejoong. Believe me, I could. But… I don’t ever want to hurt you. No matter what I have to give up for it, I’ll never be the one to cause you pain.”




Heechul hated wandering. He always needed to have a place to go, something to do when he got there. The aimless path in the dark sent him stumbling across campus in a miserable, blind haze he couldn’t get out of. Only one place flickered in his mind as each step took him further and further away from the medical ward where he belonged. He’d avoided it for as long as what was left of his sanity would allow, but somehow it finally got its way, pulling Heechul into the Officer’s Quarters and past his own room. J. Park… J. Park… J. Park… rang in the Daeryeong’s turbulent mind as shaking fingers traced over the characters forever engraved in white on the door beside his own, unconscious desperation crying out from every pour in his skin. He didn’t know what exactly it was supposed to accomplish, but before he could force himself to stop, Heechul slipped inside the room and collapsed on the floor.


I hate you. I hate you so much for what you’ve done to me… For making me weak… I hate you more than anything and I swear to God I will never forgive you.


Dull nails scraped against the concrete floor as Heechul clawed at it, trying to bury himself in it and begging it to just swallow him whole and lever let him come back to this place- this miserable hellhole where nothing really made sense. Everything was falling apart right before his eyes… and for once he wondered if he really had anything together to begin with. Maybe the hole he’d been digging for himself had finally gotten too deep for him to see anything else- too deep to breathe in anything but suffocating dirt enclosing him on every side.


It hurts Leeteuk. Oh my God it hurts…


Dry sobs and cries of pain wracked Heechul’s heaving chest as an invisible weight crushed him against the only thing keeping him from falling into oblivion, silent agony of an unknown tomorrow tearing open new wounds on his arms. He couldn’t cry. He’d forgotten how long ago.


I can’t do this… God I can’t do this anymore…


Please help me…


Please… do something.


I think… I need you…




“They’ll probably send you home as soon as I turn in the report. I’m pretty sure a train should be coming by tomorrow afternoon.”


Donghae blinked up at his lover from his place on Eunhyuk’s bed, eyes narrowing slightly. “Then hold on to the report for a few days,” he said with a yawn, closing his eyes and resting his cheek against the pillow that reeked of his favorite smell. “Everyone knows how you are with paperwork. I mean really Hyukjae, you could probably hold that thing for a month and no one would question it.”


The medic rolled his eyes for the nth time that night as he settled beside Donghae’s hips, careful not to make contact with the deep purple bruise adorning his lover’s torso. “I’ve always turned in release reports within a few hours of the examination. Daeryeong Kim is… out of contact for a while, so we only have until about… I don’t know. Whenever Jungnyeong Park wakes up. We’ve already talked about this Hae… There’s no avoiding it.” Eunhyuk’s voice softened to a finish and he wove trembling fingers into his lover’s feathery brown hair. The strands felt like damp silk under his touch, falling perfectly back into place as soon as he let go. Eunhyuk knew he would miss this. “Donghae-ah…”


“So… Everything will be gone after I leave. It’ll be like we never met.”


“Don’t say it like that.”


“It’s true though, isn’t it?”


“Donghae stop it.”


“No, I’m not going to stop. I’m not going to let the best thing that’s ever happened to me just disappear like it was nothing- like we were nothing. Make me remember Hyukjae. If this is all going to end… at least give me something to hold on to. Make me remember what you feel like, what you taste like… I just need something to make me remember that doing all this wasn’t just a big waste of time. Please Hyukjae… I don’t want us to end like this.” Donghae’s slowly slid open to see Eunhyuk staring down at him, something written all over his face that Donghae couldn’t quite read. He wasn’t sure when the hand brushing through his hair had decided to lace their fingers together instead, but the warmth pressing against his icy palms was hard to argue with. “Give me something that will make sure I’ll never be able to wash you out of my skin.”


There a long silence- a terrible, heart wrenching, bloody silence- before Eunhyuk finds the strength to do anything without bursting into tears again, but Donghae can’t say that he wanted a quick response. The elder man’s body began to move on its own accord, his parted lips gravitating toward the tanned skin covering his lover’s sharp jaw line and hovering over it, so close but careful not yet to touch. He decides to just breathe; breathe in everything Donghae has, everything he’d ever engraved in the man’s skin that he prayed would never come out. A warm numbness has settled over his body and made their world so surreal he couldn’t tell if they were still in his shitty room in the middle of camp 409 or if they were drifting somewhere in the sunrise-stained clouds of a morning afterglow they never got a chance to taste. He wanted it- so badly tears burned in the corners of his eyes and fell onto his lover’s chest as if it had started raining all over again.


I don’t think you understand Hae. Maybe you’ll never be able to understand.


Feather-light touches caressed Donghae’s arms as gentle kisses fluttered against his face and neck. He wanted nothing than to stay like that way for the rest of their lives, basking in the beautiful haze Donghae had thrown over him as he finally let his lips rest against his lover’s. The kiss was slow and sloppy as if they had all the time in the world to do this. No clock was ticking away the seconds until their separation; no one in the world was trying to tear them apart.


“I don’t know what else you want me to give you Donghae,” he whispered into his lover’s gaping mouth, hot and sweet and perfect. “You’ve got my heart, is there really anything left?”




“Do you remember the first time I came to you?”


“Yeah, you were so freaked out about getting up you fell face-first off the top bunk.”


“…Okay, second time.”




“I think I was already in love you with then.”


A/N: like i've said a thousand times before, i'm incredibly sorry for making  you wait so long for this, but i'm fucking thrilled about how this came out :] so! here's the important part.THE UPDATING POLICY IS GOING TO CHANGE. what i mean by that is i'm going to make you guys work for new updates. that means 'm not even going to start writing the next chapter of letters from war until i see 25 comments on this page. and those do not include comments that i have made, spots, or replies. my hits have gotten up into the 600's for the last chapter guys, i'm sure at least 25 of you can take 2 minutes to leave a comment on work that took me 5 MONTHS. if the comments reach 35, i'll give you all a special treat in the form of my new fic 'Hello.' a chapter from that will be posted THE NEXT DAY after i count 35 original comments, and it's pretty much all written already so there should be no problems with that. NOW GO FOURTH AND SHOW ME A BIT OF LOVE MMKAY? ;]


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Tags: lfw news, lfw update

  • Hi Everyone ^^;

    It's been…. a really long time, right? Unfortunately my unplanned hiatus does not end with particularly good news, and I want to let you…

  • because the next chapter of hello is done...

    and i don't want to post it yet *runs away* i still need it looked at by a few of my friends and i need to clean it a bit, so it'll be a little…

  • addition to my LFW post

    i also meant to post this when i put up my Letters From War update, but i completely forgot about it in my rush to get out of the house x_X anyway,…

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  • Hi Everyone ^^;

    It's been…. a really long time, right? Unfortunately my unplanned hiatus does not end with particularly good news, and I want to let you…

  • because the next chapter of hello is done...

    and i don't want to post it yet *runs away* i still need it looked at by a few of my friends and i need to clean it a bit, so it'll be a little…

  • addition to my LFW post

    i also meant to post this when i put up my Letters From War update, but i completely forgot about it in my rush to get out of the house x_X anyway,…