September 24th, 2010

suprisingly human

Title: Suprisingly Human
Length: Drabble
Author: HolyStarDown
Pairing: Leeteuk-centric, Implied and very ninja!kangteuk
Rating: PG-13 for language 
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: if i owned them i would be posting HD movies, not fics
Summary: No, he is not in fact the perfect leader everyone has made him out to be...
Author's Note: um. i fucking LOVE leeteuk, i just think that he can be a closet bitch like everyone else. this is one of my favorite oneshots that i've written, and again it was tapped out on my itouch around 2 or 3 in the morning.

There are some times when Eeteuk just wants to absolutely fucking scream at people because no, he is not in fact the perfect leader and people do get mad at him for more than just the hell of it. Sometimes he says the wrong things and doesn't take them back like he should, and sometimes he doesn't make everything better by flashing that cutesy little dimpled smile of his. Sometimes he gets mad enough to break things- screams and cries just because he can and the pressure is too much.

He knows he isn't perfect and really he doesn't try nearly as much as the world thinks he does; he's just good at playing the part. There are times when the others scream that they hate him and actually mean it, but he’ll still think he's right because they pissed him off enough for him to stop caring about their problems. He can sit in his room alone after a particularly nasty fight with someone (possibly even made them cry) and still defend himself even though he knows it's his fault.

 

He’s felt an overwhelming sense of pride, of wrath, of vanity, and even of lust before. He’s felt selfishness and anger, sorrow and hatred, some provoked and some just there. He’s felt self-righteous, felt the need to lie and cheat and say things to hurt on purpose just so he can feel better than someone else. And he’s acted on all of them behind closed doors because he’s been forced to lock those feelings away in front of the camera- because no one can see him for who he is, and no one would believe it if they did.

He's thought about dying before and thought that no one would miss Park Jungsu.

He's stared at a blade and wondered what it would feel like against his skin- what it would feel like after the world went dark and everything had finally fallen apart. He's wondered less why there are days when he likes the idea so much.

His face really can contort into a scowl that's not cute or playful. He really can put ice and hate and fury into his glares that make Donghae never want to speak to him again. He can even slap Kangin in the face without feeling instant regret.

He isn't always Super Junior's angelically perfect leader: not always the Leeteuk or Teukie-oppa that everyone has created in their minds for him to be.

Sometimes… he's just human.


A/N: letters from war has gotten nowhere :/ hello is going slow. as far as hello updates go, i have one chapter ready to post at the moment, but i'm not going to until i get a bit more written afterwards so the gap between updates won't be as large ((which means that you guys are finally caught up to where i'm writing! D:)) it'll be up in the next two weeks at the lastest, next week if i'm in a good mood.
A/N2: oh, and ALL chapters of hello have broken 1000 hits except for the latest. chapter 1 is at exactly 2000

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