HolyStarDown (holystardown) wrote,

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Title: Letters From War
Length: [16/?]
Author: HolyStarDown
Pairing: Yunjae, Yoosu, Leeteuk and Heechul ((Tuekchul?))
Rating: Overall NC-17 
Genre: Romance, angst, drama
Disclaimer: i only own them in my dreams
Summary: In the breaking point of the Korean war, two brothers get drafted into the military and forced to fight for the lives. literally. punishment in camp 409 is just as unforgiving as its officers. attraction? frowned upon. affection? unheard of. love? strickly forbidden. But the training camp they thought they knew gets turned upside down when six of them decide to leave no rule left unbroken
Author's Note: sorry this took so long! summer makes my schedual crazy so i don't know how well this chapter turned out :/ hopefully it doesn't disappoint! <3 

{Prologue} {Ch1} {Ch2} {Ch3} {Ch4} {Ch5a} {Ch5b} {Ch6} {Ch7} {Ch8} {Ch9a} {Ch9b} {Ch10} {Ch11} {Ch12} {Ch13a} {Ch13b} {Ch13c} {Ch13d} {Ch14}

Chapter 15

On July 17, 1952, 1608 hours, six unmarked military planes flew over Southern military training camp 409. Approximately nine bombs were released. Six aforementioned bombs missed the camp entirely while one landed on the outskirts of the grounds and two landed directly on the grounds at 1609 hours. Jungnyeong Choi Siwon, Jungnyeong Han Chirimi, Ideungbyeong Kim Jongwoon, and Shin Donghee were all killed instantly. Ideungbyeong Kim Kibum died at 1614 hours from severe third degree burns covering 84% of his body. Ideungbyeong Nae Jongkyu died at 1616 hours from massive abdominal bleeding believed to be caused by the explosion (no previous blood disorders on record.) Three unidentifiable trainees died at 1613, 1627, and 1629 from various but relevant causes. No tags were found with the bodies.


Eunhyuk looked up from his work with a deep sigh. Death reports were just so... depressing. His gaze shifted to the mountain of paperwork beside him, an unsatisfied groan passing his lips, and dropped his head to the desk in defeat. “You win Heechul!” he declared to no one. “There is no way in hell that I can get all this done by tonight…” His hand was so far strained that it felt as if only needle-thin strands kept it attached to his wrist from hours of continuous writing, and his eyes were ready to fall out from reading form after form after form.


The random mutterings of the few patients in the ward that had long since faded from his mind began to surface again, Changmin’s voice more defined than the rest… and getting much louder.


Eunhyuk lifted his head, staring at his partially opened door around the pen stuck to his forehead.




Nothing could have brought the medic to a patient’s bedside faster than Changmin’s frantic screams. The Jungnyeong thrashed madly on his bed, tears streaming his cheeks and desperate cries of ‘hyung’ exploding from his lips. His hands clawed at everything he could get a hold of in desperation to bring the vanished image of his brother back. Some part of his mind knew it was impossible, but the part in control refused to give up and live without seeing Yongmin again; his torn heart screamed, unknowing of the bloodied hands that tried to stop him.


Just to make matters worse, the main door flew open to reveal a panicked Leeteuk with their Daeryeong hanging limply in his arms. A horrible feeling of déjà vu washed over the head medic, leaving Changmin momentarily forgotten. “What the hell happened?” he hissed. 


“Cannabis,” Leeteuk practically sobbed out. “I don’t know how much he took but he cut himself and can’t feel anything. I think he passed out.” Leeteuk stared down at his loved one’s closed eyes before holding his body closer. “Help him.”


“How did he get cannabis?? I’m the only one who-” A sharp gasp cut off Eunhyuk’s words. His eyes nearly doubled in size and he stared at Changmin’s still-struggling form. “Oh my God…”


“Oh my God what?? What happened??” Leeteuk cried as his eyes darted back and fourth between Changmin and Eunhyuk; the latter’s face suddenly stone cold.


“Jungnyeong Park, go stand outside at the doors. Make sure that no one comes in here unless they’re dead or dying.”




“Don’t you dare stop.”


Yunho needed no further persuasion. The second he was given permission, he took Jaejoong’s member in all in one shot, eliciting a low moan from the smaller man. Fingers were harshly threaded into his hair and pulled mercilessly as his tongue continued its work swirling one way only to switch to another in a matter of seconds. Again he worked at an agonizingly slow pace, savoring every drop of liquid pleasure Jaejoong had to offer.


Moans were forced from Jaejoong’s mouth with every swipe of the Soryeong’s skilled tongue that left a wet trail in its wake. Electricity danced under his skin and spread through every inch of his body, thrilling him beyond reason. The little remaining bit of his rational switched off the second Yunho hollowed his cheeks, and the latter was forced to hold Jaejoong down to prevent the younger man from choking him. His back arched off the small bed as Jaejoong felt his release coming closer, the soft lips on his skin sucking harder and moans becoming louder.


He tried to find his voice somewhere in his melted brain, his lust only letting him get so far. It was all too much, yet still not enough. “Y-Yunho… I can’t-”


“Just let it go Jaejoong.”


The trainee needed no further encouragement. He released everything into Yunho’s relaxed throat with a breathless moan, his hand fisting the officer’s hair impossibly tighter and his head falling back in ecstasy.


Yunho pulled himself away from Jaejoong only to return for a fiery kiss seconds later as fireworks continued to explode behind the younger’s tightly closed lids.


Jaejoong could taste himself on Yunho’s demanding tongue, but continued ravishing the other’s mouth until they ran out of breath. He didn’t care that the faint sound of the main doors opening echoed in the empty Officer’s Quarters; all he cared about was Yunho.


“We have to stop…” Yunho breathed against Jaejoong’s cherry red lips. Neither man cared that he continued to kiss them anyway.


“Yeah…” Jaejoong closed his teeth on Yunho’s full bottom lip when the elder tried to pull away again, preventing him from leaving with little effort.


“We have to put your clothes back on…”


“Not before I return the favor.”


“No time.”






The footsteps came closer to the couple’s hiding place- click click click- and the voice neither of them noticed before became perfectly clear. “Soryeong Jung? Soryeong Jung, are you in here? Jungnyeong Choi needs to see you immediately. It’s about what happened to Changmin. You know Daeryeong Kim will have our heads if he doesn’t get the full story in detail,” the voice whined. “Come on Yunho! Where the hell are you?”


Jaejoong finally froze and his mind cleared. The air he breathed in was finally enough for his lungs to stop protesting and the risk of their situation finally sank in. “He’s coming,” he whispered.


Yunho’s gaze shifted to the door. “I know,” he whispered back before hurriedly trying to get Jaejoong’s pants back around his tiny waist. The trainee just watched Yunho’s hands work, occasionally moving when he needed to and blushing when Yunho placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “You can go out the window,” he whispered against Jaejoong’s pink-tinted skin.


“The what?”


“Window Jaejoong. You obviously won’t be able to get out through the door without being seen.” Both men turned their heads to the door when the footsteps started again, growing louder with every click. “You have to get out of here now!” Yunho hissed.


The trainee’s knees wobbled as he stood, but a strong arm wrapped around his waist to steady him. Yunho used his free arm to slide the glass pane up and lifted his illicit lover onto the sill, kissing him one last time before Jaejoong dropped down to the ground below.


“You won’t tell anyone I was the one who hit Changmin, right?” Jaejoong whispered as he gazed into Yunho’s chocolate brown eyes.


The officer titled his head slightly and returned the other’s intense stare. “Why would I do that?”


“You’re supposed to tell Daeryeong Kim things like that, aren’t you? I mean, they told you to report those kinds of incidents,” Jaejoong nervously played with his fingers, clicking his nails against each other and unconsciously chewing his lower lip. But both actions came to a halt when Yunho gently took the trainee’s hands in his own and kissed his swollen lips.


“I was also told to stick with what I say I will or will not do.” He kissed Jaejoong again. “And I specifically remember saying that if something hurts you I won’t do it.”


Bright light shone from Jaejoong’s eyes as he smiled and shyly looked away. “I remember that…”


The corner of Yunho’s lips turned up and he placed a kiss on the back of Jaejoong’s pale hand. “Then remember this as well Kim Jaejoong: I will never say a word against you to them. No matter what.”


The warmth from Yunho’s kiss still lingered on his hand as Jaejoong fled back to the training fields.




Changmin can’t remember when his body stopped shaking or when his voice was reduced to barely audible screams of his brother’s name. He can’t remember why he was in the medical ward or why his arms were tied to the bed beside him with blood under his fingernails. All the Jungnyeong knew was that he was, in fact, in the medical ward and that his face felt like it had been run over by a truck. A groan escaped his lips as his head fell to the side and the image of an unconscious Daeryeong filled his vision. “…Heechul?” he whispered hoarsely.


“Don’t talk.” The stern command brought Changmin’s attention to the man sitting beside Heechul’s bed and stabbing a needle into the Daeryeong’s arm. He didn’t look up as he continued his work and spoke in a flat tone. “What color is my hair?”


Changmin’s face squished in confusion. “Dark brown?”


Eunhyuk jerked his free arm up and pointed three fingers to the ceiling. “How many fingers am I holding up?”




“What is my name?”


“Lee Hyukjae but we have to call you Eunhyuk or Soryeong Lee if we want to keep our heads,” Changmin answered with annoyance slightly evident in his scratchy voice. “Why are you a-”


“Do you see anyone else in the room but me?” the medic continued as if Changmin had said nothing at all.


“Yes; Heechul.” The cloth tied around his arms foiled the young officer’s attempt to sit up. “Why am I here and why are my arms tied down??” he practically shouted as he pulled against his restraints.


But Eunhyuk remained unfazed and attached the needle in Heechul’s arm to an IV bag filled with deep red blood. “You’re here because a trainee knocked you out and you’re tied because I don’t appreciate the skin getting clawed off my arms. It’s rather painful.” He lifted a bandaged arm and wiggled his fingers for emphasis, lips stretching into a wry smile so he could be sure Changmin got the message.


“… I don’t remember doing that,” the young officer said as he shifted his gaze from Eunhyuk’s tattered arm to his own bloody fingernails.


“Of course you don’t. You were high on the wrong narcotic,” the medic said matter-of-factly. He shook his bangs away from his eyes before moving away from Heechul’s bed and grabbing a bottle of alcohol as he made his way to the other side of the room for cotton balls.


Changmin watched as the makeshift bandages fell to the floor and alcohol was poured onto several white cotton balls, his face still scrunched in confusion. “How did I get high? And what do you mean ‘the wrong narcotic?’ I’m not on anything.”


“I’ll explain everything if Heechul lets me live when he wakes up and sees you here. But I’m going to need you to pretend you’re unconscious when he does wake up so he’ll talk to me. If he thinks you can hear him, he won’t say anything.” Eunhyuk hissed when the alcohol made contact with his torn skin but continued. “And if he doesn’t talk to me I can’t help either of you.”


“How do you know he’ll say anything at all, regardless of whether I can hear him or not?”


The medic paused and poured alcohol on new cotton balls, cleaning a few gashes before he spoke again. “I don’t. Heechul is extremely thick-headed, but people usually open up to someone right after a near-death experience. It certainly doesn’t hurt that he trusts me a lot with medical situations either.”


“So… what happened to him?” Changmin finally asked, again pulling against the cloth binding his arms.


“Only two people can tell us really. One of them can’t speak and the other is unconscious,” Eunhyuk answered with a slight grin. But the grin quickly faded into a serious look that Changmin decided didn’t fit the Soryeong at all. “You have to promise me something, though, before it’s too late.”


Changmin wanted to nod, but an exceptionally painful throb that assaulted his face stopped the gesture before it began. “Sure.” The medic’s deep sigh did nothing to calm his nerves.


“You absolutely must not repeat a single word of what he says to anyone, regardless of their ranking, for any reason. And if you can’t promise that, I’ll have to sedate you for real. Do you understand?” Eunhyuk stared straight into Changmin’s eyes, dead serious and unmoving.


“I understand.”




Jaejoong’s heart pounded as he slipped into the mob of scattered trainees and officers, surprisingly unseen by any of them… except one.


Hyung what the hell were you thinking!!


Jaejoong’s eyes closed and a sigh escaped his lips at the demanding hiss. Sure enough, Junsu was standing in front of him when he dared to open his eyes again.


“Honestly hyung, are you asking to be killed? How can you punch an officer??” the slightly younger boy fretted, the most worried expression Jaejoong had ever seen consuming his face.


“It’s easy really. All you have to do is close your hand and swing your arm,” Jaejoong replied, earning him a smack on the shoulder. “Hey!”


“You can’t keep doing stuff like this! Don’t you think all this junk is going to catch up with you? They’re officers in the military for God’s sake! Sneaking out against their orders, knocking out a Jungnyeong, and screwing around with a Soryeong is-”


“I am not screwing Yunho, okay? Now stop lecturing me and get back to Yoochun,” Jaejoong snapped.


The younger went silent. His fierce eyes softened and looked away from his brother, his fingers coming up to needlessly fix his collar. “Yoochun has nothing to do with this…” he muttered almost inaudibly.


“Apparently he has a lot to do with you. But my situation with Yunho has nothing to do with you. Just…” Jaejoong sighed deeply and glanced at the retreating line of trainees. “Let’s not talk about this now. Anyone could hear us.”


“So now you’re worried about getting caught? You should have thought about that two da-”




Every head turned to stare at the twins, including the Soryeong leading them off the field. The officer approached Jaejoong with skepticism shining in his narrowed eyes. “When did you get here?” he asked coldly.


Jaejoong’s face slipped from anger to terror as the officer came closer. “Sir?” he asked innocently.


“I know for a fact that you weren’t here a minute ago. Now tell me when you got here and where you were,” the Soryeong ordered.


Jaejoong’s mind and body froze, preventing him from answering the simple question. He couldn’t expose himself and Yunho by telling the truth, but any trainee with half a brain could easily call his bluff. He felt Junsu’s worried eyes on him as well as the eyes of every other man on the field. But, there was one alternative… Jaejoong just hoped his acting skills were as good as Junsu had led him to believe.


“Answer me Ideungbyeong!” the officer shouted in his face.


“I-I… don’t… remember. I can’t…” And then he collapsed.


“JAEJOONG!!” his brother screamed from beside where he once stood. A soft thud told Jaejoong that his brother had kneeled at his side, small hands cradling his face confirming his thought.


“What the hell happened to him?”


“How should I know?? He’s been gone all day! Get him help!”


“Fine. You, Hasa Mong, go get Soryeong Lee. Tell him a trainee passed out and is having memory lapses.” A short pause. “Go now!”


Jaejoong kept his eyes closed as the pattering of feet faded away and Junsu continued to stroke his face. “You’ll be okay Hyung…” his younger brother whispered. Jaejoong wanted to take away the younger’s worry- open his eyes and tell him that everything was just an act. But he wouldn’t give himself, or Yunho, up so easily. For now, he would just have to let Junsu worry.




No matter how hard he tried, Leeteuk couldn’t stop his hands from shaking as he stood outside of the medical ward. The one he loved was in there, possibly dying, for the second time since he’d been in camp 409 and nothing he tried would let him forget it, even for a second. His breaths came is deep, ragged gasps and his eyes darted wildly for any kind of distraction the concrete buildings could offer in vain. He wanted to be in there, knew that he should be in there by Heechul’s side. But Eunhyuk’s orders were clear and, Soryeong or not, Leeteuk had no choice but to obey if he wanted his love to live. Just when he thought his anxiety would eat him alive, a distraction came running up to the doors.


The panting Hasa bowed to Leeteuk quickly before straightening and looking into his superior’s eyes. “I was sent to get Soryeong Lee. A trainee passed out on the fields and is having memory lapses,” he explained between breaths.


But Leeteuk was completely unmoved by the Hasa’s words. “Take him back to his Resident. No help will be offered here.”


“But Jungnyeong Park-”


“Don’t you dare talk back to me Hasa. It was a direct order from Soryeong Lee, myself, and Daeryeong Kim,” Leeteuk lied easily. Every drop of fury was channeled into his eyes and poured on the poor Hasa that stood before him. “And I’m sure that a Hasa defying orders from not one, but three of his superiors would not go over well with Wonsa Kim when he arrives. Don’t you agree?”


The Hasa nodded fiercely and bowed at the waist. “Of course sir. I apologize.”


Leeteuk shook his hair out of his eyes to be certain the other man could see just how bad of an idea any form of defiance would be. “Take the trainee back to his Resident. If he dies, he dies. If he lives, fine. But if anyone tries to bring him here unless they are absolutely certain that he is drawing his last breath, they will be punished. Got it?”


“Yes sir. I will let Soryeong Mangjeol know.” The Hasa bowed again before running off, leaving Leeteuk alone with his racing thoughts and no idea what was going on behind the closed doors.




Heechul woke up to slow breath and nothingness. No sound, no movement, just him and the blank ceiling above him. Thin white sheets fell away from his body as the Daeryeong sat up and took in the rest of his surroundings. A crimson tube connected his arm to a bag above his head, and bandages encased both of his wrists in a soft embrace. Out of the dozens of beds in the room only one was filled aside from his own with a man whose face was turned away from him and body covered by a sheet. The realization of where he was came slowly and cleared when Eunhyuk came into his sight.


“You’re awake,” the medic stated as he came to stand at Heechul’s side.


“How long was I out?”


Eunhyuk smiled weakly at the Daeryeong and sat on the bed next to him. “A few hours. How do you feel?”


Heechul’s face, on the other hand, remained blank. “I’m fine. Where is Jungnyeong Park?”


“He’s outside making sure that no one else sees you in this state,” Eunhyuk answered softly.


“Tell him he is no longer needed; I’m leaving.” Heechul swung his feet to the side and tried to stand, wavering slightly before finding his balance and taking a step forward.


But the medic was on his feet in an instant. “Absolutely not! You had nearly bled to death when he brought you here. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you go now!”


“I said I’m leaving Soryeong Lee. Now get this thing out of my arm so I can go,” Heechul demanded.


“You’re selfishness could have cost Jungnyeong Shim his life!”


The Daeryeong froze. He could have sworn his heart skipped a beat. “What?”


Eunhyuk stared deep into the elder’s eyes, icy seriousness carved into his usually soft features. “I know you stole my cannabis Heechul,” he said darkly. When he got no reply the words spilled out on their own. “Changmin got knocked out by a trainee this afternoon. His nose never healed from the last hit so the injury only got worse, and his cheek bone is fractured as well. My standard pain control is cannabis, but I have a backup narcotic that is only used when cannabis won’t work. I hate using it and my father taught me to avoid it if at all possible. Pain treatment isn’t its purpose since it’s meant to give you mental revelation, but it’s a decent backup if you’re desperate. No one tests it for allergies, no one knows how to get it out of your system if your body can’t take it. It’s called salvia, Heechul. Do you have any idea what salvia can do to someone?”


The Daeryeong’s voice was hardly over a whisper. “No.”


“You can’t stop laughing even though nothing is funny. You feel like your getting sucked into everything around you. Nothing makes sense, and you feel apart from your body. Then you get to relive your memories. And if you’re given too much salvia at one time- oh, say, about the same as the amount of cannabis I would usually give to a patient- your mind twists those memories into things so horrible no conscious person could ever imagine them. People have killed themselves because of what they’ve seen; it jeopardizes your sanity if your mind is weak.” Eunhyuk paused again and took a deep breath. “My cannabis is kept in the same drawer as the salvia but the salvia stays underneath it… and I was too distracted by the paperwork deadline that I didn’t notice that there was no cannabis in the drawer at all. I gave Changmin too much without realizing it and he had a psychotic episode. I had to sedate him for now, but he could have-”


“Shut up Soryeong Lee,” Heechul hissed. His entire body shook and the fire of hell burned in his eyes as he raised his head to look at Eunhyuk’s startled face. “I want to talk to Jungnyeong Park.”


“I can’t let-”


“That is an ORDER Soryeong Lee!”


Eunhyuk cringed at the Daeryeong’s shriek but remained strong. “I can’t let him in here until I know exactly what you did to yourself,” he said in a voice much calmer than he felt.


“I’m not saying anything to you. I want to talk to Leeteuk NOW!”


After a long, heated pause, Eunhyuk rose to his feet and bowed to his superior. “I’ll let him in right away sir,” he said before exiting the ward. Within moments he returned with Leeteuk in tow and disappeared again into his office.


Leeteuk was far too overwhelmed to say anything as he stared at Heechul’s pale face. The younger man’s eyes were glued to the floor between them, his thoughtful expression covered by ebony bangs. Leeteuk unconsciously reached for the silky strands and tucked them behind Heechul’s ear before his rationality could stop him. “Why did you do it Chullie?” he whispered. “There were so many other things… you could have…” Leeteuk shook his head and pulled the one he loved closer. “Why didn’t you come to me Chullie? I could have helped you. I know I could have done something for you.” He paused again to gaze into Heechul’s eyes with so many emotions radiating from his heart. “You didn’t have to try to kill yourself like your mother did Heechul,” he whispered.


“What are you talking about?” Heechul finally looked his ex best friend, confusion streaking his pale features. His mind swam and his throat seemed to close in on itself. Did he really not know?


“My mother didn’t kill herself Leeteuk.”

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