HolyStarDown (holystardown) wrote,

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Title: Don't Blame Youself For My Mistakes
Length: One-shot
Author: holystardown
Pairing: Yunjae
Rating: G/ PG 
Genre: Very mild angst, slight fluff
Disclaimer: i only own them in my dreams
Summary: "Are you mad at me?" "No Joongie, I'm not mad at you. Just... really disappointed."
Author's Note: i hardly remember writing this, but apparently i did it about a year ago. since i've been making you guys wait for sooooo long for the next Letters chapter ((which won't take me much longer :] )) i decided to post this now as a peace offering <3 it's about when Jae got his DUI and i doubt it's accurate at ALL ((since i really have no idea what any of the details are)) but this is what my imagination thought would have happened. and if anyone wants to tell me what happend for real, that would be awesome :D

Don't Balme Yourself For My Mistakes

Jaejoong waited anxiously, clinging to cold metal bars for dear life and trying to pretend that there wasn’t really four trashy-looking men behind him checking him out. He wasn’t like them; he didn’t belong here like they did. Their sleazy laughter echoed off the stone walls and invaded his senses, sending waves of fear through every part of his body. “Oh God Yunho, where are you?”


Not a moment too soon, the police officer who had taken him here came walking down the corridor with a distraught Yunho only centimeters behind. As soon as the officer finished fumbling through his keys and the cell door opened, Jaejoong flew into Yunho’s waiting arms.


“Jaejoong you scared me to death,” Yunho murmured against Jaejoong’s raven black hair. He pulled his lover into a savoring kiss as if they would never kiss again. He looked deep into the smaller man’s slightly dilated eyes when they parted, only to pull him into another, longer lip lock. The horrible worry was evident in every gesture Yunho made, without any trace of the rage Jaejoong had expected.


“Yunho I’m sorry. I didn’t mean t-” But he was cut off with a third desperate kiss.


“We’ll talk about this at home, okay?” he said calmly, cupping Jaejoong’s flushed cheek in his hand. The elder just nodded in consent and clung to Yunho’s arm as the police officer led them away from the cell full of envious drunks.


Neither man said a word for the entire drive back to their apartment. Jaejoong was too ashamed, and Yunho didn’t want to get into a discussion just yet. When they finally arrived back at the apartment, Yunho set his keys on the side table and poured a hot cup of coffee. “Sit on the couch Boo,” he said softly before handing the steaming cup to his lover.


Jaejoong did as he was told and kept his eyes focused on the dark brown liquid in his hands. He waited for Yunho to yell at him, scold him, tell him that he really screwed up this time and that  his actions were a disgrace to Dong Bang Shin Ki, but none of it ever came.


The younger man settled himself beside Jaejoong and took a deep breath. He had no idea where to begin.


Before the leader had a chance to speak, Jaejoong shifted and took his chance. Guilt pulsed through his intoxicated veins and Yunho’s comforting touch only made him want to crawl under a rock and never come out. “Yunho,” he called quietly, still not looking at his lover. “Are you mad at me?”


“No Joongie, I’m not mad at you. Just… really disappointed.” Yunho paused and took another deep breath. He knew he needed to stay calm to avoid a fight; neither of them needed that now. “I thought you would have known better.”


Jaejoong’s head snapped up to look at Yunho for the first time since they left the jail. “I didn’t have a choice Yunho! I didn’t even want to be at that party but Heechul said no one else would go with him. Everyone got really drunk and I wanted to go home- I really did- but I couldn’t just leave Heechul there with all of those people. I only had a couple of drinks Yunho… I was the only one not completely wasted or even close to being sober enough to drive and that was the only way I could get home!” Jaejoong explained as hot tears gathered in his eyes, threatening to spill out at any second.


The leader took Jaejoong’s free hand in his and locked eyes with the love of his life. “Why didn’t you call me?” he asked in a half-hurt voice.


The tears finally spilled over and onto Jaejoong’s flushed cheeks. “I did Yunho! At least twenty times!”


Jaejoong’s sobs stung Yunho’s heart more than anything he’d ever heard. “What?”


“I did call you Yunho! I did!”


Yunho quickly dug his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open. The small lit up screen was marked with several bars all saying the same thing: “MISSED CALL FROM BooJae <3” with different times in two minute intervals, the time in the first bar reading 2:41 AM. The very top of the screen read ‘silence all.’ Yunho let the cell phone slip from his fingers and bounce on the couch before he pulled the still sobbing Jaejoong into his arms. “I’m so sorry Jae. This is all my fault… If I wouldn’t have left my phone on silent none of this would have happened…”


“Don’t’ blame yourself. I screwed up. I chose to do something stupid. Not you,” Jaejoong almost whispered as he snuggled closer to Yunho’s warm body. If anything, he didn’t want to push his fault on Yunho when the leader had nothing to do with it. He wiped his tear-stained cheek with the sleeve of the over-sized jacket Yunho never noticed he took and again snuggled deeper into his lover’s embrace. “I should be sorry… Not you…”


Neither of them spoke for a long time. The room was silent aside from Jaejoong’s diminishing sniffles. Yunho kept his eyes closed and stroked the older man’s soft hair, occasionally whispering sweet nothings into the darkness. “It’s okay Jaejoong-ah…” he repeated. “It’s okay... We forgive you.”


“How? Don’t you realize what I’ve done to our reputation? The media is going to have a field day when they find out…” Jaejoong muttered into the damp cloth on his lover’s shoulder.


“I don’t care about that right now,” Yunho replied, tightening his arms around Jaejoong’s slightly trembling body. “All that matters is that you didn’t get hurt.” He smoothed the older man’s disheveled hair and ran his fingers across his lightly flushed and tear-streaked cheek. “We can deal with the media later baby.”


They sat in another long silence, unaware of the three others watching them from behind a cracked door. Yunho raised the almost forgotten cup of coffee and put it to Jaejoong’s rosy lips. “Finish this so we can go to sleep. We’ll talk more in the morning.”


Jaejoong complied and drank the rest of his coffee in long, slow sips. When the last drop was gone, Yunho gathered the smaller man in his arms and carried him to their shared room. He laid Jaejoong on their bed, pulling the covers over his body, and laid beside his lover with a soft smile on his face.


The drag of alcohol finally cancelled out the caffeine in the smaller man’s system and he fell into a deep sleep, safely wrapped in Yunho’s arms where he belonged.

A/N: um... i just realized that i made them make out in public :/ lol. as much as i would love to see that, i don't think it would have happened at all... especially in a jail xD but whatever. it's inacurate. deal.


oh and just in case any of you care, i'm pissed. my grandmother just killed a snake for absolutely no reason >:[  it was a RAT SNAKE. NOT VENOMOUS!!!! trhjis;hnslfkhjnslkhjn!!!! i don't know about any of you but i heart snakes. i really do. my dad ran over one a few days ago ((by accident of course...)) and it didn't even die right away... about five inches of its body was literally squished onto the road, so it couldn't even move off of the road... it made me really sad... i mean, we would have moved it but it was a rattle snake and i didn't want my dad to get bitten or myself to get bitten out in the middle of nowhere... bleh. i'm done <3 Hit Counter
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Tags: fanfic, oneshot, random ranting, yunjae
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