HolyStarDown (holystardown) wrote,

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Title: Letters From War
Length: [14c/?]
Author: HolyStarDown
Pairing: Yunjae, Yoosu, Leeteuk and Heechul ((Tuekchul?))
Rating: Overall NC-17 
Genre: Romance, angst, drama
Disclaimer: i only own them in my dreams
Summary: In the breaking point of the Korean war, two brothers get drafted into the military and forced to fight for the lives. literally. punishment in camp 409 is just as unforgiving as its officers. attraction? frowned upon. affection? unheard if. love? strickly forbidden. But the training camp they thought they knew gets turned upside down when six of them decide to leave no rule left unbroken
Author's Note: chapter 13 is hella long. like almost 3x the usual length of my chapters. and it's all teukchul for this chapter. but! before you run away screaming in a yunjae-deprived rage, hear me out. it's all leeteuk/heechul's memory except the very end so it's VERY important to the fic. VERY IMPORTANT. so please read it even if you don't like the teukchul.

{Prologue} {Ch 1} {Ch 2} {Ch 3} {Ch 4} {Ch 5a} {Ch 5b} {Ch 6} {Ch 7} {Ch 8} {Ch 9a} {Ch 9b} {Ch 10} {Ch 11} {Ch 12}

Chapter 13a
Chapter 13b

Part C


Leeteuk woke up the next morning and found, to his great relief, that Heechul was back in his bed. A slight smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he watched the younger boy sleep; Heechul looked like a child with all the coldness gone from his face. He couldn’t help that he was drawn to the peacefulness that clung to the sleeping boy. Ever so slowly, Leeteuk got up from his own bed and kneeled beside Heechul’s, eyes half closed and just watching the rare sight. The words came out before he could stop them “I love you Heechul,” he whispered as quietly as he could. He paused, waiting for the light sleeper’s eyes to snap open, but they never did. Leeteuk didn’t know what possessed him to say it. Maybe the thoughts he’d lived with for the past three years couldn’t hold themselves back anymore. Maybe something inside him let go when he saw his former best friend so vulnerable. Maybe he was just crazy. Regardless, he wished the moment would stay how it was: uninterrupted and beautiful. “I miss you ya know? I mean, I miss the way you used to be…”


As if it had a mind of its own, Leeteuk’s hand reached out for the innocent face, only stopping when there was less than a millimeter between them. Warning bells fired off in his head demanding that he stop his actions immediately and get ready for the day, but he couldn’t move his hand from its spot. “Chullie-ah…” he breathed out. He unconsciously leaned forward as his eyes slid closed and his lips slowly came to rest on the back of his hand. “I wish you could understand. I wish you could accept this…”


Right when the words left his mouth, four knocks hit the door and Leeteuk was forced to pull away. He made a dash to the other side of the room and mindlessly rummaged through his clothes as he waited for Heechul’s eyes to open. They didn’t.


“Chullie-ah?” he called in a voice louder than normal before he could stop himself. But it didn’t matter; Heechul still didn’t wake up. Panic began to bubble in Leeteuk’s chest as he watched the younger boy just lie in bed. There was no twitch, no groan, no nothing. “Heechul!” Leeteuk called again, taking a step toward the other. Leeteuk shook friend’s shoulder almost violently, but Heechul’s head just felled to the side with no further response. The older boy’s heart pounded against his ribs as he jerked the covers off of the small body, worry choking off his rationality.


Four bright red crescents marked each of Heechul’s hands and the dirt that caked his clothes was decorated with small splotches of dark red.


Leeteuk couldn’t imagine how he managed to carry Heechul all the way from their room to the medical ward on the other side of camp 409 but he was facing the head medic in no time, panting and borderline hysterical.


The head medic scrunched his eyebrows together as Leeteuk burst through the door with Heechul cradled in his shaking arms. “What in the…?” the medic couldn’t even form a full question before words started gushing from Leeteuk’s mouth.


“Something’s wrong with him. He won’t wake up and something happened to his hands and he’s usually a really light sleeper and-”


“Lay him down over there,” the medic said calmly with a gesture toward one of the many steel-framed beds. His order was instantly followed. “Now, calm down and slowly tell me what happened.”


Leeteuk took a few long breaths before answering. “I don’t know. He was gone when I woke up yesterday and when I went to sleep last night. This morning he just wouldn’t wake up.”


A grim expression clouded the medic’s face and he stared down at Heechul with dark eyes. “Return to your room Sangsa. I’ll take care of him.”


Leeteuk hesitated for a few moments before bowing slightly and leaving the medical ward with a muttered “thank you Jungjang* Lee.”


The medic waited for the young officer to be completely out of sight before turning to a boy who watched the whole spectacle from one of the other beds. “Eunhyuk, get me an IV bag from the top drawer on the far left cabinet in my office. Fifteen hundred milligrams if you can find one. And two cannabis** leaves from my bag.”


The sixteen year old boy immediately sprang off the bed and nodded. “Yes Appa,” he said before sprinting away.


Jungjang Lee sighed when his son left the room and turned his attention back to Heechul. He wrapped his arm around the boy’s shoulders and sat him forward as if Heechul were a glass doll, slowly tearing the boy’s shirt with his teeth as he did so. Just as the medic had suspected, he found a tiny pink dot on both of Heechul’s shoulders and in the center of his neck. He let his eyes linger almost painfully on the three small marks he could see and laid Heechul’s weak body back down without desiring to see the other four. “What in God’s name have you done Sunghe?”




Leeteuk went straight from dinner to his room that night. The young officer was exhausted both mentally and physically, unsure if he would even make it to his bed. But the second he opened the door his energy came flooding back. “Heechul!”


The said boy looked up as Leeteuk entered with a blank expression on his face. To anyone walking in, it seemed as if Heechul hadn’t been tortured and unconscious for an entire day, but Leeteuk knew everything.


A gentle smile spread on the elder’s lips and he kneeled beside the one he loved, taking Heechul’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “I was so worried about you… What happened?”


Heechul jerked his hand away and stood up. “It doesn’t concern you Sangsa Park.”


“The hell it doesn’t concern me!” Leeteuk shouted as he also rose to his feet. “You’re in my team! You’re my roommate! You’re my friend Heechul!” He shook head and laughed humorlessly. “How can you sit here and tell me that whether you live or die doesn’t concern me?”


Heechul said nothing.


“Do you think that I don’t care about you?” Leeteuk practically shouted. His eyes stung as they continued to stare at the younger’s emotionless face. “SAY something!”


“No one asked you to care about me. It’s probably better that you don’t,” Heechul replied before walking to the door. He was practically out the door when Leeteuk’s words stopped him.


“Would you rather have died??”


Neither Sangsa said anything for a few breathless moments. Leeteuk was almost shaking with frustration and his eyes burned with suppressed tears. He wanted an answer, he wanted to fling his arms around Heechul and hug him until they couldn’t breathe. He wanted so many things…


But Heechul just walked out the door and slammed it behind him. He leaned his back against the polished wood and slid to the floor, closing his eyes as he hit the ground. He breathed out a strained sigh and spoke nothing above a whisper. “Would you still care if I said yes?”




New trainees poured off the train and spilled out onto the fields in mobs. Just like every new shipment, the men were all silent as they watched officers flit around the field and bark orders.


Nineteen year old Heechul watched the new trainees slowly split into their residents and fall into lines in front of a tall-standing Jungnyeong. The speech of rules and introductions was made just like always. But there was one boy that caught Heechul’s eye and refused to let go. The boy was actually… smiling- laughing almost. Heechul’s heart gave an involuntary flutter at the sight of the boy’s mismatched eyes as he continued to smile brightly at the stiff trainee beside him.


“Yunho-hyung you’re crazy. We won’t be able to live if we follow all these rules!” Heechul heard the boy whisper.


“Don’t call me hyung. I barely know you,”’ the other whispered back. Judging by the agitation that marked his face, Heechul figured that the older boy had put up with the other for most of, if not the entire, train ride to camp 409.


“Why not? You’re older than me. Besides, we’re going to get to know each other really well since we’ll be living together from now on,” the first one said. Heechul’s mouth twitched when he saw the elder roll his eyes.


Two days passed since the new set of trainees came in and Heechul had thought nothing of the boy with the mismatched eyes or his “hyung” since. Everything was normal as he walked onto the training fields to watch the trainees spar with each other and occasionally their training officer. Of course, it was normal until he watched a Soryeong fall to the ground at one of the new trainee’s hand. Heechul’s eyes widened slightly and he wandered closer to pick up the words that were flying from several different mouths. The smiling boy and his hyung were both there; the younger cheering as the elder stood over the officer he had just thrown to the ground.


“Kick his ass Yunho hyung!” the boy shouted with his thin fist in the air.


Yunho extended his hand to the fallen officer, helping the man to his feet before turning to flash the younger boy a half-smile. “How about you give it a shot?” he suggested.


The boy’s eyes lit up and he instantly sprang to hid feet. “If you don’t think you can handle Soryeong Yu on your own,” he said with a grin.


Soryeong Yu brushed off his clothes and smirked at the boy challenging him. The size difference between the boy and Yunho was obvious: while Yunho appeared well built, the other looked as if he couldn’t leave a mark on someone if he tried. “Alright Ideungbyeong Shim,” he said calmly. “Show me what you got.”


“I’ve got plenty of things,” the boy said before flipping out his pockets and showing the Soryeong four paperclips and a bent dog tag. “See? Interesting.”


Soryeong Yu glared at the snickering trainees as the boy grinned at him. This is not acceptable. “Stop wasting my time!” he shouted.


But the boy’s grin didn’t falter. “I was just doing what you ordered me to sir.”

“We don’t appreciate smartasses here Ideungbyeong,” the officer sneered.


The boy’s eyes instantly widened to show as much innocence as humanly possible. Even from the other side of the field Heechul could feel their effect. The Soryeong raised his hand to strike the boy but Heechul instantly rushed to intervene.


“’Soryeong Yu!” Heechul shouted as he approached the mob of trainees. All heads turned to him and the atmosphere instantly tensed. “Hit that trainee and you won’t like what happens.”


“You think you can boss me around Wonsa Kim?” the Soryeong sneered. He refused to let an inferior officer order him around in front of the trainees no matter what the younger man was to the Daejang.


And just as Soryeong Yu hated being ordered around, Heechul would not be disobeyed by anyone. “Let us ask Daejang Kim about that,” he said calmly, his lips turning up into a smirk when the Soryeong’s hand lowered. Sparks flew from the elder’s eyes, but they barely affected Heechul at all. The latter just locked eyes with the trainee and gestured him forward.


The boy appeared even younger up close than he did when Heechul first saw him. He was tall for any age, no doubt, and his clothes hung loosely off the boy’s thin body. His brown hair fell just below his ears and almost covered his eyes with obvious softness as the strands shifted slightly in the breeze. He couldn’t be any older than sixteen. “What’s your name?”


The trainee’s eyes instantly lost their light as he stared at Heechul. “Shim Yongmin sir,” he replied with a forced smile stretching his lips. Heechul had to admit, he was impressed with just how quickly yet subtly the trainee’s child-like demeanor slipped away. “I just got here a few days ago.”


Heechul slowly scanned the boy’s body from head to tow and back up, avoiding the trainee’s eyes. “How old are you?”


“Eighteen.” The playful grin returned. “If I remember correctly, they changed the admission age to eighteen last year. If I wasn’t that old I wouldn’t be here.”


Heechul made another sweep with his eyes. “Of course,” he said slowly.


“No offence sir, but you look barely old enough to be here yourself,” the trainee said.


“I’d be lying if I said you were wrong.” A tiny smile tugged at Heechul’s lips before he turned away and left the training fields.




For almost a year Heechul heard continuous praise for Shim Yongmin and Jung Yunho (which soon turned into Hasa Shim and Hasa Jung) from the superior officers just as he had heard whispers about Leeteuk so long ago. Yunho was known for his strength and emotional indifference; Yongmin for his intelligence and the fact that nobody could hold anything against him for more than a few seconds. Not a soul was surprised that they moved up in the training camp ranks instead of moving to the combative forces; they wouldn’t kill.


Even Heechul showed extreme interest in the pair. He watched Yongmin more than some thought an officer should and seemed to take note on everything the boy did. And where Yongmin was, Yunho was not far away. The elder seemed almost annoyed with his dongsaeng’s presence, but they always worked together so well- almost as if they belonged that way. Yongmin designed strategy, Yunho excelled in applying it. It was a perfect combination that would have been undefeatable in combat, amazing if the knowledge could be passed to those who would actually go into combat.


And one day Heechul made a decision.


“Daejang Kim, I’ve made my choice.” The Daejang looked up from his papers at the few Sowi with blank eyes. “Have you really?” he asked in and amused tone. He gently settled his pen on the dark wood and leaned back in his chair. “Who is it then?”


“Shim Yongmin and Jung Yunho,” Heechul said firmly, refusing to let the Daejang know that his legs felt like jelly from the latter’s intense gaze. He knew there was nothing to fear except the inevitable scolding for being indecisive for so long, but his heart still pounded madly in his ears.


“Shim Yongmin and Jung Yunho?”


Heechul nodded. “Yes sir.”


“You do realize that only one person can take over, correct?”

Yes sir,” Heechul said again. “Hasa Jung is a backup if something should ever happen to Hasa Shim.” Lies.


Sunghe’s eyebrows rose slightly at the explanation all the same. “I’m impressed,” he said. Heechul almost felt accomplished until the Daejang finished his thought. “You actually didn’t screw this one up. I was hoping that one of the two would be your choice… Both of them is even better.” He pushed a few papers aside and replaced them with two files, opening the top one to reveal Yunho’s face printed in black and white. “It’s a truly a shame that Hasa Jung didn’t move on from here. He would have been a major asset in the armed forces,” he said as he scanned over the neatly printed words on the page. “Good choice.”


Then he removed Yunho’s file and opened the second. “Shim Yongmin…” Sunghe mused quietly, more to himself than to Heechul. “He’s brilliant, truly brilliant. Yes… so much potential…” The Daejang’s words trailed off as he read the Hasa’s file, thoughtfulness and something else entirely streaking his face. “Oh the things he can do if he’s taught correctly…” He finally looked up with a devious glint in his eyes. “I approve of your choices and will move them up when I see fit; two ranks just as I promised. You are dismissed.”


The tingling in his skin instantly went away when Heechul left the Daejang’s room and returned to his own. As he lay in his bed, the Sowi couldn’t help but to think of what exactly he had thrown the two beloved Hasa into.


Part D


Tags: lfw update, lj is being a weenie

  • finally!

    Title: Letters From War Length: [21a/?] Author: HolyStarDown Pairing: Yunjae, Yoosu, Teukchul, ((and is that?)) EUNHAE Rating:…

  • Hello chapter 6

    alright, so, realistically, i'm not going to have chapter 20 done by the 20th, and i won't be able to post for the next few days, so here! have the…

  • IT'S. HERE.

    Title: Letters From War Length: [20/?] Author: HolyStarDown Pairing: Yunjae, Yoosu, Teukchul, ((and is that?)) EUNHAE Rating:…

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  • finally!

    Title: Letters From War Length: [21a/?] Author: HolyStarDown Pairing: Yunjae, Yoosu, Teukchul, ((and is that?)) EUNHAE Rating:…

  • Hello chapter 6

    alright, so, realistically, i'm not going to have chapter 20 done by the 20th, and i won't be able to post for the next few days, so here! have the…

  • IT'S. HERE.

    Title: Letters From War Length: [20/?] Author: HolyStarDown Pairing: Yunjae, Yoosu, Teukchul, ((and is that?)) EUNHAE Rating:…